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Bullying

Nearly everyone is bullied at some time in their life. It can make you feel scared, alone, isolated and very sad. Remember, no one deserves to be bullied.

Did you know?

Many famous and successful people were bullied when they were young - Tom Cruise (actor), Michelle Pfeiffer (actor), Mel Gibson (actor) and Phil Collins (singer).

If you don't tell someone, nothing will change.  In fact, it may even get worse, because the bully will feel more powerful.

I'm being bullied...

Who can I tell?

  • telling about bullying isn't 'telling tales' or 'grassing'; you have the right to be safe
  • all Hillingdon schools have anti-bullying policies and procedures for dealing with incidents
  • keep a diary - write down details and your feelings. When you do tell someone, it will be easier to recall and to prove
  • tell your parents or other adults you need their help. Don't suffer in silence.
  • encourage anyone who is being bullied to seek help
  • nobody can do anything to help you unless you tell them about the bullying
  • often people don't tell about bullying because they are frightened that the bully will find out and things will get worse. Schools can deal discreetly.

What can I do?

  • try and avoid being alone in places where the bully can pick on you
  • encourage anyone who witnesses bullying to tell about it; otherwise they are behaving just as badly. There is no 'innocent' bystander
  • consider joining some form of self defence course Judo, Tae Kwon-do etc... not to fight back but to give you more confidence

Self-assertiveness for victims of bullying

There are three response styles:

  • aggressive - aggressive people act as if their rights are more important than others.
  • assertive - assertive people respect themselves and others.
  • passive - passive people behave as if others matter more than they do. Often victims tend to be passive and bullies tend to be aggressive.

Learn to be more assertive

  • when you say NO, say it firmly
  • if you don't want to do something, don't give in to pressure. Be firm, remember, we have the right to say no.
  • offer an alternative - "No, I don't want to play football; let's go for a walk instead".
  • don't make excuses - Keep your body posture assertive (don't stand all hunched up in victim-mode) and look the person in the eye.

You may have to pretend a lot at first and act in a way you don't really feel. But eventually the 'acting' will cease and you will be more assertive than you thought possible!

Changing school is often not the answer. Bullying will follow if your resilience skills still need attention.

If you would like further advice, please contact:

Education Welfare Service
4E/09 Civic Centre, High Street, Uxbridge, UB8 3EY

More help

When you need help, there is always someone you can turn to. If you want to, find someone you trust that you can talk to. You can also contact many organisations confidentially who are there for you. Remember that sharing your worries with someone who cares can make you feel better.

Remember that no one deserve to be treated in a way that make them feel bad. If you think you are being bullied do not accept it, be brave and seek advice at any of the links or at your local service, please find links below.

Healthy Hillingdon

  • Tel: 01895 257285

Karate Club Hayes

  • Tel: 07715 113856

Tae Kwon-do
Venues around the borough

  • Tel: 01895 427357

Martial Arts
At Queensmead Sports Centre, Ruislip

  • Tel: 020 8845 6010

Childline
ChildLine is a counselling service for children and young people

Runaway Helpline
Runaway Helpline is a national, free, confidential service, provided by the charity Missing People, for anyone who has run away from home or care, or been forced to leave home. Whether you have run away from home because of an argument, bullying, abuse or you're unhappy. Sometimes you just want to get some space. Runaway Helpline is here for you day or night.

Bullies Out
Anti-bullying charity that provides help, support and information to individuals, schools, youth and community settings affecting by bullying.

Youth Access
Provides names of local youth counsellors

  • Tel: 020 8772 9900

Joint Action Against Homophobic Bullying

Bullying Online
This organisation has lots of advice for young people and parents who need help with bullying.

Visit Direct.gov for information on online Bullying

Kidscape

This is a national charity that provides advice on children who have been bullied. They can be called on 020 7730 3300.

Last updated: Tue 11 Oct 2011 at 13:24